Hello.
You have someone who loves you.
Aren't you thankful?

.Nice to see you here.
.Gin Ming/Ren Ming,whichever is easier for you.
.29th December 1994.
.Epee fencer
.Loves God.
.Art.
And collects notebooks.

HELLO!

Here's my fuzzy little hamster again,this time clinging on tightly to the water bottle and drinking.Ah well,you know the BEST time to take a photo of a scampering little creature like hamsters is when they're asleep or drinking or eating.Haha.

I noticed that I actually enjoy hopping and skipping down staircases more than walking or running on them.Interesting.I did that last Saturday,because I was high.For some strange reason,but even when I'm not I like doing it too!Shows how bouncy I am,bouncy with delight!

Ok,so project work became half a disaster today with Rachel Tan not considering the statement of 'If you have nothing good to say,don't say it'.As in,she really missed the point of it.Fenella cried today because Rachel wouldn't stop pouring out insults at her.And she didn't cry because of Rachel alone,so as later I found out.She said that she felt as if everyone wanted her to die,to leave.Like as if no one wanted her,it was just so difficult on her.She has been treated like this since she was young,and she didn't feel care at all.No one really exactly likes her in her CCA.No one really likes her in the class (but I do).Her mother stresses her.It's been so difficult,so tough,so harsh.

She mentioned that I didn't know how harsh it was.But I DO know.Really long ago,back in primary school where I faced people who flooded a WHOLE sea of rumors about me,who kicked me,who shouted in my face (remembered one guy shouted at me because I fell down in front of him by accident when I had a fever and he was a little injured,but hey,excusable)Who called me really nasty names,took me for granted,bullied me,and 3/4 of Primary school was a horror.It's comparable,the situation Fenella has and what I experienced.

People just can't see her good side.I mean,if they were nice to her and make an effort to be her friend,I'm sure they'd find her a nice girl.I can see her hurt,whenever I say hi to her she either gives me a VERY VERY FAKE AND SARCASTIC smile or don't reply,and when I requested that she'd smile and be merry,she gives me another ugly,sarcastic and fake smile.Fake smiles without joy are REALLY ugly.I admit that.When someone truly smiles,you can truly see a joy and sparkle in them,this light that explodes in them.I'm not sure about my smile,but I definitely give off a lot of real ones.

Once I remembered when I gave her a very enthusiastic smile and greeting of a 'HI!!!',she ONCE again gave me another sarcastically fake smile.And I get annoyed when I greet someone REALLY happily and they show me something that reflects annoyance.So I redid the greeting the ah ming way,I went WEIRD.I told her that how she greeted wasn't a way to greet someone,and with that I pulled the sides of her mouth upwards and pulled out her hand from her pocket and shook it hard as if she was waving at me.'There,don't know how to say hi?Here's a guideline.'was what I meant.This utter weirdness made her laugh eventually,and you can finally see a genuine smile,one that shone and was beautiful.She has a nice smile,she just doesn't show it or use it much.

And yes,I remember my calling.TO LOVE.I am going to love everyone,the ones who are hurt,and need love.

My beloved Epee,I miss you!And I'm going to use you tomorrow in training and FENCE. Whoo hoo (:

God,I thank you for today.Amen.