Hello.
You have someone who loves you.
Aren't you thankful?
Profile
.Nice to see you here.
.Gin Ming/Ren Ming,whichever is easier for you.
.29th December 1994.
.Epee fencer
.Loves God.
.Art.
And collects notebooks.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010 / 1:39 AM
Dear Miss Peng.
Hello world!
Yes world, let me introduce you to Miss Peng.
It's amazing how God works. Amazing how he brings people into your life to bring you up, to show you that you're loved.
Recently, I felt so immensely hurt and I felt so broken, almost as good as someone shooting 10 arrows through my heart. Horrible. I would say I felt like dying. I wished so hard, so badly that I could rewind time. So badly for something to kill me. I could die. I know I have high pain tolerance. I know I lived through so much, so much hurts. And this, by far, is the ultimate.
Today when I went out I felt so hurt that I didn't even bother about what I should wear. Anything. No contact lens. Nothing flashy. Dull shirt. Boring denim shorts. Didn't tie up my hair. Buried my head in a book because I didn't want to think of the past that poisoned me, killing every inch of me bit by bit.
The day came to a close with Dad's birthday dinner. I was dying already. After the day, I was sweating, and with THAT dressing, I walked up to my parents shop to meet my family for dinner.
The moment I got there, Mom and Dad pointed at me and went "That's my youngest daughter."
I turned. There, stood a sweet looking, slim lady in a flowy white top with leggings and heels next to my daughter.
"That's your daughter? She's so lovely! Such a beautiful girl, really! So so beautiful." she exclaimed.
Now I thought that was a lie. Everyone of mom's customers tell me I'm beautiful. Courtesy's sake you know. Though some really do think I'm pretty. But for nuts;looking like this? She's got to be kidding. How in the world can I BE BEAUTIFUL. Bad dressing, broken on the inside...HOW IS THERE ANY POSSIBLE BEAUTY. Oh how I thought, she wasn't serious, that she was only being courteous.
Later on, I found out that she was Miss Peng, and that she was my brother's P1 form teacher 14 years ago. She happened to drop by, and amazingly, she recognized my parents and brother and they recognize her, so they got into a little conversation and then I arrived.
Yeah we talked. Slowly I found out more. She's a Christian, with a gift of vision into the spiritual realms. She could see all good and bad...smell them too. And that she's been through so much, that her spirit was so sensitive to the holy spirit. The more I heard, I got more and more absorbed into the conversation and amazed at all her life experiences.
Not until she turned to me and went "You've a great destiny, d'you know?"
I was surprised. Not that I didn't know, but for someone to say that, it just hits you in a different way.
She continued. "I see a lot of light in you. Lots of it. So much of that is coming out of you. You're so beautiful."
I started to bring myself down again. But somewhere in me knew her opinion was different from so much of the others that I couldn't help but continue to listen to her, somewhere in me believing.
"The moment I saw you, I knew you were beautiful. Your spirit is such a beautiful one. So sweet, so beautiful, really."
People tell me I'm beautiful but I never believed. Sure it's a compliment, but coming from Miss Peng...it wasn't just that. It's well; actually true. I couldn't help but to tell her how broken I was. How tired I felt. How misunderstood, how much pain I held. My tears flowed. My heart broke once again.
She looked at me with eyes filled with love.
"You're so strong. Even though you're broken, the light still comes through." Frankly I'm not too sure about whether she said anything about it being God's light, but maybe. I was so overwhelmed that I can't remember that part.
Mom heard, and she went "Yeah,this one's very pretty."
Miss Peng looked back and replied with such a lovely laugh in all seriousness "Not just that. Her spirit is such a beautiful one. I want to take her home with me!"
Then Mom surprisingly, agreed and revealed about the time she was pregnant with me. How actually, I was God's gift. How it was through me that she had breakthroughs. How when I was young I was different from other kids.
Miss Peng only smiled even more.
"You're beautiful."
My tears flowed and I couldn't help but to smile. Beauty in the ashes.
Dear Miss Peng, you're God's gift.
Thank you so much for letting me know, and for telling me what God told you, and telling me what you see.
Thank you that you genuinely think I'm beautiful, that you saw beauty in my spirit even though I never did. Thank you for loving me even though we've barely met, for seeing straight through me into all my brokenness. Thank you that you're so sensitive to the spirit and thank God he has blessed you with the one of the world's most amazing pair of eyes to see beyond the surface, to see all that's inside. Thank you Miss Peng, thank you for being God's vessel of blessing. You, Miss Peng, are the one of the most beautiful adults, or even person that I've ever met in my life.