Hello.
You have someone who loves you.
Aren't you thankful?

.Nice to see you here.
.Gin Ming/Ren Ming,whichever is easier for you.
.29th December 1994.
.Epee fencer
.Loves God.
.Art.
And collects notebooks.

Hey world!

That's right,I did it.

I deleted ALL my posts from December 2006-November 2007.I just felt like I had to erase them,when I saw my myself in the past I couldn't help but feel embarrassed,the really crazy Gin Ming back then who thought she was so awesome.Nah,not really.Not without God then.I think I'm a lot better off than the past now,especially with God more prominent in my life.Though yeah,I could still work on some things(: Can you believe it? I had around 638 posts in the past.Now its reduced to 339! Haha.

I still feel a longing to know God more.I don't want to go back to the way I was.The Gin Ming that was without God and took out everything the wrong way.The Gin Ming who lacked love.The Gin Ming who thought that she made the best jokes out of people.No.No way,No how.NEVER.I'm not going back.

I'm new now.I want to read the word more.I want to experience God's goodness in my life,and see everything as a miracle every single day.Even if I get injured during training,even if I lie sick on my bed,and even when I have to take on scoldings and frame,I want to see them as part of God's will in my life and part of a miracle that will take place.Let everything that has breath,praise the Lord forever.I have breath.

Mountains will bow in his presence and authority.MOUNTAINS WILL BOW I TELL YOU.Let's see you try making a mountain bow without moving a single bit of sand,soil or stone off it.What an awesome God I serve.And even when mountains bow to him,its us,his creation that he cares about.He became human went on a cross for us.No,not climbing up a cross.It meant whipping of more than 30 strokes with the whip having tons of little bits of nails and broken sharp things sticking out of it.It meant humiliation.It meant people spitting at him.It meant him being tortured and whipped till his skin tore with almost all his flesh exposed and blood everywhere(yes it's WAY WORSE than stirring your hand in a box full of penknives).It meant even in his weak and painful state,carrying the heavy cross up the hill and with people mocking and spitting at him along the way.It meant having thick and long metal nails being pierced through his hands and feet and then having him nailed to the cross until he died.

And even when he was dying,it wasn't enough.He wasn't even left in peace when he was dying.People still mocked him.People still spat at him.The people who nailed him there were casting lots over his clothes.And he carried everyone's sin on earth,so much sin that he was like wearing a huge coat of sin.Or maybe even sin in human form(is it?).But he carried them all.The whole of earth's sin.Any idea how much is that?

And the God that was in heaven whom was holy had to turn his face away from him because he bore so much sin.The holy and loving God who will never take his eyes off you,took his eyes off Jesus.Turned his head even.

That was everything he endured.He probably endured even more.And he did it.He won the battle and made a passage way for people to get to Christ,to be saved from destruction.The question is,do you want it?

So much love that my God has for me.I want him to be there all the time.I want to know that he's always around to watch me.I want to know that he laughs and that he is happy about me being created.I want to know that he will love me till the end,even when I'm a sinner.And I want to love like he has.

Its a beautiful God that I serve.

God bless!(: